Should You Relax Your Child's Hair?

Many African-American women choose to chemically relax their daughters’ hair. This is practice that for decades has been all too common. Before many African-American girls reach middle school, they have had a chemical relaxer. Although chemical relaxers may make the hair more manageable for parents, it is important to know the dangers and long-term damage chemical relaxers can cause to a child’s hair.

When Should You Relax a Child’s Hair?

A girl should not receive a relaxer until she has had her first period. This is because once girls begin menstruation, the hormones in their body changes and can react adversely with the relaxer. This can cause the hair to thin out or break. It is best to wait until the first period, so that the chances of negative interactions between her hormones and the relaxer are reduced. If you observe the young women that you know, you will notice that the ones who waited until high school to relax their hair usually have healthier hair then the girls who got a relaxer in elementary or middle school.

What Kind of Relaxer Should You Use?

Once your daughter has had her first period and you have decided to relaxer her hair, you should consult a hair care professional who will be able to best advise you as to what type of relaxer she should use. If your goal is to just loosen the curl to make combing through the hair more manageable, you may want to give your daughter a texturizer. This will loosen the curl, but will not completely straighten the hair. You can also use a “kiddie perm,” which is formulated for young girls, so it is gentler on the hair then standard relaxers. But I repeat, consult a hair care professional. The worst thing you can do is relaxer your daughter’s hair yourself. You will be doing her a grave injustice.

How Do You Maintain Relaxed Hair?

Condition, condition, condition. It is very important to keep your daughter’s hair conditioned. You should frequently deep condition her hair with cholesterol or a protein-based conditioner. It is also very important to handle the hair gently by shampooing gently and using wide-tooth combs. Also, avoid heat styling, such as blow drying, flat ironing or using curling irons. Heat styling can dry out the hair, causing it to become brittle and to break.

Once you have committed to putting a relaxer in your daughter’s hair, it is important to keep up with caring for her hair by keeping a regular 6-8 week schedule of reapplications, conditioning the hair, and keeping the ends trimmed. Although the relaxer may make the hair easier to handle, it requires a lot more maintenance than natural hair. It will be vital to her hair health to follow all of the proper procedures and to work along with a hair care professional. Before you put a relaxer in your daughter’s hair, take the time to think about all the pros and cons of such a permanent and potentially damaging process. Many young girls end up losing a lot of their hair before they reach high school because they received a relaxer too young or because the relaxer was not properly maintained. No girl wants to start high school with thin, dry, broken hair. So moms, think before you relax.